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Gwyneth Paltrow. Robert Urich. Insurance companies. A mustache.
All of these exciting American touchstones are part of "Deadly Relations", a 1993 family epic that left us feeling like we were sold up the river.
Urich is the dominating patriarch of a proud Southern family with 4 daughters: the older rebellious one, the second oldest favored one (Paltrow), the one no one cares about and the youngest one (the girl with Judy Garland braids.) As a father, Urich is bossy and unpleasant, especially compared to his quiet wife who is pretty much always smoking. Like, always. Basically, the movie is about the decline of this family from a bunch of rich people to a group of swindlers who shoot off their own hands for the insurance money. Quality folks. I think there was some philandering in there, but who can remember. This movie was pretty boring.
This movie had some redeeming qualities. Namely, the character of The Sixties (aka the 1960s) was prominently featured in the first 30-40 minutes. Their house was the perfect modern blend of Chez Brady and The House on the Rock. It was full of magical orange carpet and wall-length scenic vistas. Gwynnie has never looked as adorable as she did in a yellow and white dress with white tights and smart yellow pumps with little bows on them. Her outfits were singularly charming and her hair was the wavy cascade of blonde that all of us want, either secretly or openly, as a young girl. Mom had a smart bouffant and the rebellious sister was totally badass and mod.
The 1970s and beyond were not so kind to the family, unfortunately, and their house stopped being as interesting as it was in the '60s. Gwynnie and her growing family moved to some crap shack in the boonies and the rest of the family started to dress in a startlingly boring way. At this point I will admit that I stopped watching.
Rating: 0 I cannot recommend this movie on any grounds, other than the first 30 minutes or so, for fashion/set design reasons. I will keep the look of this house in the back of my head along with the late '60s/early 70s interior design books I have been hoarding since I was 22. Maybe someday I can sit in a bright yellow recliner on a sea of orange shag carpet in a wood paneled room and remember the beauty of the first 30 minutes of this movie. Maybe not.
