Justice for Annie

Traveling all the way from the wonderful year of 1996, comes this devastatingly weird story about a girl, Danica McKellar (who we might as well just call "Winnie Cooper"), who is a normal girl graduating from high school... normal except for one thing.... she has DYSLEXIA!!!!!

Surprise! This isn't a dyslexia movie. Winnie Cooper goes and gets hitched with her sailor boyfriend and moves with him to Seattle, much to the dismay of her mom, Peggy Lipton. Things go south pretty fast and the sailor husband starts getting.... VERBALLY ABUSIVE!!!!!

Surprise! This isn't an abuse movie, either. Winnie leaves her husband and meets a new boy. This boy is played by Lochlyn Munro! Very exciting! You may not know who Lochlyn Munro is, but on Planet Lifetime, he is a god. He's got a strange, smashed-looking face, and beavery teeth and is always, always, always playing the rapist football player. Here he's playing the bait to lure Winnie Cooper to rent a room with his parents, who just happen to be in the business of killing people for life insurance money. Yep, it's a killing-people-for-life-insurance-money movie.

So anyway, these two old folks toss Winnie off a cliff, Peggy Lipton grieves, double-clutches (twice) with her Roz, then gets suspicious, then takes the killers to court, and then wins and achieves inner peace or something. Peggy Lipton gives another of her classic "I'm overdosing on Xanax" performances, and it's fun watching Winnie Cooper ruin her life so carelessly. But the main thrill for us was the brief appearance of Lochlyn Munro. Lochlyn Munro!

RATING: 8. This movie is so scattered, it's like three Lifetime movies in one, all of them awesome.