Terminology: Third Act Coma

It doesn't matter if it's anorexia, incest, go-go dancing, or just fitting into middle school, chances are it's all gonna end in murder. And if it ends in murder - heck, even if it doesn't - there's nearly a 90% chance it ends in a courtroom decision. This is what we call the Third Act Coma.

Lifetime tends to kick all kinds of ass for the first 2/3 of their movies. Various characters rise and fall. Disgusting habits are adopted. Reputations are trashed. Lives are guttered. But, maybe because so many of these things are "based on a true story," they commonly stagger to a courtroom closing that is, well, kinda dull.

Maybe you like seeing your favorite actress sitting in a nice dress answering aggressive questions from a (probably Southern) attorney. And we do, too. But we'd much rather see them suffering rather than just talking about that suffering. Call us purists if you must.

Look, even the gavel fell asleep.